“1. BECAUSE I CAN NOW MARRY WHOEVER, OR WHATEVER I WANT.
2. BECAUSE OIL COMPANY PROFITS OF 4% ARE OBSCENE BUT TAXING EVERY GALLON OF GAS AT 15% ISN’T.
3. BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT WILL DO A BETTER JOB OF SPENDING THE MONEY I EARN THAN I WOULD.
4. BECAUSE FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS FINE AS LONG AS I AGREE WITH WHAT IS SAID AND NO ONE IS OFFENDED.
5. BECAUSE I’M TOO IRRESPONSIBLE TO OWN A GUN AND I KNOW THAT MY LOCAL POLICE ARE ALL I NEED TO PROTECT ME FROM CRIMINALS.
6.BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO CAN’T TELL IF IT WILL RAIN ON FRIDAY CAN TELL US THAT THE POLAR ICE CAPS WILL MELT AWAY IN 10 YEARS IF I DON’T START DRIVING A PRIUS.
7.BECAUSE I’M NOT CONCERNED ABOUT MILLIONS OF BABIES BEING ABORTED SO LONG AS WE KEEP ALL DEATH ROW INMATES ALIVE.
8. BECAUSE ILLEGAL ALIENS HAVE A RIGHT TO FREE HEALTH CARE, EDUCATION, AND SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS, AND WE SHOULD TAKE AWAY THE SOCIAL SECURITY FROM THOSE WHO PAID INTO IT.
9. BECAUSE BUSINESSES SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO MAKE PROFITS. THEY NEED TO BREAK EVEN AND GIVE THE REST AWAY TO THE GOVERNMENT FOR REDISTRIBUTION.
10. BECAUSE WE NEED TO REWRITE THE CONSTITUTION EVERY SO OFTEN TO SUIT THOSE WHO WOULD NEVER GET THEIR AGENDAS PAST THE VOTERS.
11. BECAUSE IT’S BETTER TO PAY BILLIONS FOR OIL TO PEOPLE WHO HATE US AND TO NOT DRILL OUR OWN BECAUSE OF SOME BEETLE, SPOTTED OWL, GOPHER OR FISH.” –JAMES W. ANDERSON
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